


Read the lines in between (What I say and what I mean)

by sassyandlost



Series: Sweet Hibiscus Tea [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Generally sad af, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Swearing, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, stay safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29153463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassyandlost/pseuds/sassyandlost
Summary: Ghostbur knew he shouldn't read the letter, it was not adressed to him and specyfically stated a wish to not be read by anyone but Alivebur. He'll make sure Alivebur reads this.In all honesty, he's baffled. He didn't know ghosts could cry.Or where Tommy leaves exile and runs as far as he can and now y'all will read his goodbye-letter. Not a suicide note, tho. Not at all.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Sweet Hibiscus Tea [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140080
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	1. I have so much to tell you and so little words

.

Dearest and beloved brother Wilbur Soot,

I'm sorry it all has to end like that. Because if you are reading this letter it means you have been brought back to this shithole and I am already gone. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Worry not. This is not a suicade note.

I'm going away. I have been a bit tornmented for the past few days. ~~This shit is fucking unsufferable, really. How could he? Why?~~ I decided to travel away. I cauldn't take all the trouble that is a constant of this world, I'm better of far away from people and they are better of without me! But hey, It's not a suicide note! It's not my time to die, it never is.

I tried once, and that's what Dream told me, and - and he was right! The god's are obviously in my favour. Of course I'm to awesome for death! Philza Mincraft is the Hardcore god, Technoblade never dies, hence I shouldn't, couldn't be any different. You died enaugh times for us all.   
I do have a life, and I should be grateful for it, so I am.

You might think I don't have a reason to leave, than. I don't want you to be mad, so I'll tell you about what happened, maybe it will justify me at least a bit. Maybe you will understand. When you left, Dream was just the same. Gods never change, do they? But I won't be whining, Dream is not the problem, I am. He's genorous and cares for me, and I am just ungrateful. I'm always angry and unhappy. 

Yesterday I bloodied my fingers on a log, it was skinned so it was nothing that bad, it just hurts because I know it was once ~~your~~ Ghostbur's home. Yesterday I wandered off too far and for a minute there, I thought I won't get back 'cause the only compass I have is useless now... I wandered of too far and I stumbed upon some villagers and ran straight back, they scered me! Which is fucking stupid, TommyInnit ain't scared of no thing!   
When I came back there was a storm, so I bundled up and went to sleep, but everything was wet! I can't even build a good Trent, no roof! I can't fucking protect myself, you tried to but Dream blew everything away. He's a fucker, that one, but he's my friend AND he's a god, so what he says should be. I shouldn't leave him alone, that's selfish of me. But surely you understand?

Today, when I am writing this, the weather is clear. How is it for you? I wake up and tend to my beach, or I try to, I just stand with my feet in the sand and look at the tides. I take a bite of a lonely cake and pretend I'm not nauseous. I close my eyes and pretend it rains. I hum, with my trambling voice, a simple waltz, that has played in my head all the happy times and pretend that I'm not alone. 

So, you see. I have to leave, but don't be sad. This is not a suicide note.

Almost always Yours,  
Tom Watson

.


	2. My brother, I know what you try to say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, so you think you can tell  
> Heaven from hell?  
> Blue skies from pain?  
> Can you tell a green field  
> From a cold steel rail?  
> A smile from a veil?  
> Do you think you can tell?
> 
> Did they get you to trade  
> Your heroes for ghosts?  
> Hot ashes for trees?  
> Hot air for a cool breeze?  
> Cold comfort for change?  
> Did you exchange  
> A walk-on part in the war  
> For a leading role in a cage?" ~Roger Waters / David Gilmour (sang by Pink Floyd)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can read what's not directly said.  
> I'm turning it into series titled after "Sweet hibiscus tea" by Celeste Ferguson (sang by Penelope Scott)

.

Dearest and beloved brother Wilbur Soot,  
_I thought you said you will be by my side_

I'm sorry it all has to end like that. Because if you are reading this letter it means you have been brought back to this shithole and I am already gone. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Worry not. This is not a suicade note.

I'm going away. I have been a bit tornmented for the past few days. _or weeks or years, I really don't know. The days started mushing together soon enaugh_ ~~This shit is fucking unsufferable, really. How could he? Why?~~ I decided to travel _run_ away. I culdn't take all the trouble that is _Dream, or the chaos that is_ a constant of this world. I'm better of far away from people and they are better of without me! But hey, It's not a suicide note! It's not my time to die, it never is.

I tried once, and that's what Dream told me, and - and he was right! The god's are obviously in my favour. _or they would be, had I belived in gods. Oh wait, even then they never were. All the shit he put us through and he wants me to belive that? The supposed god of this world is an assole, and maybe he would meke me belive him to be right had I not died twice from his hand._ Of course I'm to awesome for death! _That's what I've been telling myself_ Philza Mincraft is the Hardcore god _and I hope he's proud_ , Technoblade never dies _and despite it all I think I miss him_ , hence I shouldn't, couldn't be any different. You died enaugh times for us all. _And though it is ridiculous to blame a dead man for his demise, that one is completly on you, therfore I feel no remorse saying you left me._  
I do have a life, and I should be grateful for it,  
_I am learning from your mistakes. >_

You might think I don't have a reason to leave, then. I don't want you to be mad, so I'll tell you about what happened, maybe it will justify me at least a bit. Maybe you will understand. _I know I didn't. I explain, so I won't hurt anyone as much as you did when you left for no reason at all. I was angry, for what you did, I hope you're aware_ When you left _because I still see Ghostbur as you, pheraps for the sake of my own sanity_ , Dream was just the same. Gods never change, do they? _I hope they would. Growing more cruel is not a good way to change._ But I won't be whining, Dream is not the problem, I am. He's genorous and cares for me, and I am just ungrateful. I'm always angry and unhappy. _That's what he made me think. He told me, and I caved in. What does a child have to offer other than it's complete trust? Well, in my case maybe not complete, I gave it to **you** before._

Yesterday I bloodied my fingers on a log, it was skinned so it was nothing that bad, it just hurts because I know it was once ~~your~~ Ghostbur's home. _It's funny how I swore I hate you, yet I still wish you were here. And it's funny, It's funny how I CAN'T tell anymore_ Yesterday I wandered off too far and for a minute there, I thought I won't get back 'cause the only compass I have is useless now... _and it hurt so much to realize that_ I wandered of too far and I stumbed upon some villagers and ran straight back, they scered me! Which is fucking stupid, TommyInnit ain't scared of no thing! _It made me wonder if TommyInnit died a long time ago, because sure as fuck I often find myself **terrified**. And now I understand why you were anxious around people. _  
When I came back there was a storm, so I bundled up and went to sleep _or rather tried to, you can not sleep when you shake like a leaf, and all the bundling up you can do is your Older brothers fucked up coat with a terrible gaping HOLE_ , but everything was wet! I can't even build a good Trent, no roof! I can't fucking protect myself, you tried too but Dream blew everything away. _and Disciplinary remains mercifully, you tried to stick with me (I'm thankful) but it's clear I'm his ~~toy amusement object~~ now_. He's a fucker, that one, but he's my friend AND he's a god, so what he says should be. I shouldn't leave him alone, that's selfish of me. But surely you understand? _you have to, don't you? He killed you, too._

Today, when I am writing this, the weather is clear. How is it for you? _Yes, I will still pretend it's just a letter_ I wake up and tend to my beach, or I try to, I just stand with my feet in the sand _when did my knees get all bony and shit?_ and look at the tides _that I struggled to die in once, and struggled not to many more. Every next one, at this point, might be the one too many_. I take a bite of a lonely cake and pretend I'm not nauseous. _I take a bite of bread from his hand and pretend I'm not nauseous, just as I did everyday (not every day, but as often as I had bread in my hands.) Maybe when I am gone they will take bite of a humble pie, though I am sure they'll pretend they're not guilty, too_ I close my eyes and pretend it rains. I hum, with my trambling voice, a simple waltz, that has played in my head all the happy times _then hunted my dreams_ and pretend that I'm not alone. _I pretend you're here. I pretend Dad is.  
I pretend I don't miss 'ome_

So, you see. I have to leave, but don't be sad. This is not a suicide note. _It's a goodbye note from a once-friend and once-brother (don't cry). It's a farewell, for I won't see you again. It's an apology, because I think I understand you at last, I know you were not at fault. I'd like to think you didn't wan't to leave, either._

_It is not a suicide note  
though it might as well be._

__

__Tell Dad I love him. Tell techno I do,too_ _

Almost always Yours,  
Tom Watson  
_I don't think a child's name would be suiting anymore._

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that was it, this is an angst part. Tell me if you'd wish for me to write an actuall story-like continuation, if i have at least one person that wants to read my shit, i will write(that's my life policy).  
> I love you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for comment's ;)
> 
> Stay safe, drink water, It's a sad fucking piece, feel free to share your troubles, I got to vent, Tomy got to vent, you can have your turn too


End file.
